I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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