I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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