Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
