My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
