her vagine was all disorganized.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
