Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
