This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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