he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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