Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
