We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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