I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
