dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
