I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
