According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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