I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
