Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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