I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
