so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
