i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
