Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
