Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
