dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My penis needs a shock collar
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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