i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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