What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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