Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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