just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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