never play flip cup with pint glasses
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
