Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
