Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
