if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
