Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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