i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
