I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize