yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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