I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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