oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
