She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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