oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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