4 words: hood of his car
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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