you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
this hospital has no fireball
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
