She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
