thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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