ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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