I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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