i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
NoShamevember. You game?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
