its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My bed smells like the plague
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
