i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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