I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
