...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
