We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
