sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
