I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
