So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
This is classic penis vs brain.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
