I got chris browned last night
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
