I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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