first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
