I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Randomize
