life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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