Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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