We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
