this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
