Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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