Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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